The Fault In Me
by HazelGrace2012
Summary: The Fault In Our Stars told from Augustus's POV!
1. Chapter 1

As soon as I open my eyes I remember, today marks the 1 year 2 month anniversary of the day I became cancer free.

To mark this glorious occasion Isaac (my best friend) decided to invite me along to his support group. I don't want to go but Isaac is about to lose his eyesight due to neroblastoma so I can't exactly say no can I?

I sit up and grab my prosthetic leg off the floor and attach it to my stump that ends just above where the knee would be. I had to lose my leg as part of my treatment. I get dressed, putting on my brown leather jacket over my grey t-shirt and walk upstairs to the kitchen. My room is basically the whole basement, I used to have to sleep in this hilariously tiny bedroom upstairs, but after I became NEC my parents decided I needed more space so they redone the basement, it's a little annoying having to walk upstairs every time I need the bathroom but still I guess I can't complain.

Once I got upstairs I ate breakfast and got in my silver jeep I began to drive to St Pauls. It took about 20 minutes because Holiday Park is a massive geographical inconvenience. I pulled up near the doors and walk in checking I had my keys in my pocket, not looking where I was going and ended up bumping into someone.

She was beautiful.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sorry." The beautiful girl said.

"My bad." I say because it was.

"No im sorry." She says.

I start towards the door not looking where I was going again and slammed my shoulder into the side of the door. I smiled, awkwardly turning around when I realised I was about to go the wrong the way. I took a quick glance back at the beautiful girl, she was smiling shyly at me.

I kept smiling all the way along the hall and down the stairs I could still see her face, grinning thinking about the way she awkwardly rearranged her nose nubbins from her cannula that was attached to a steel cart, thinking about the way she brushed her fingers through her pixie cut hair, thinking about her! No this is stupid, I hardly know her! But I could get to know her…..

I walked into a room where the lights are so bright it takes my eyes a moment to adjust, when they do I seen a circle of chairs with sick teenagers sitting in them. I see Isaac sitting across the room waving over to me so I walk over.

"Gus! How are you buddy?" he grins

"Alright but the light in here is pretty blinding!" I say laughing.

"Shut it you douchebag!" Isaac punches me in the arm.

I sit and five seconds later the beautiful girl is in the doorway, clearly out of breath from tackling the stairs. She walks over and for one stupid moment I think she's going to sit down next to me, but of course she doesn't, she sits next to Isaac only he sits between me and her.

I don't even realise I'm staring until she begins staring back at me. Soon it's become a staring contest, it's a great excuse to get to look into her eyes, she has hazel eyes and they're so beautiful, so insistent.

I'm startled out of a dream when I hear my name.

"….and friends like Augustus Waters help me out."

Its Isaac. It must be his turn to speak.

"Hazel what about you next?" the group leader, I think his names Peter or Patrick or something.

The beautiful girl, Hazel, stands up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hi my names Hazel, I'm sixteen years old, thyroid originally but now with quite an impressive satellite colony in my lungs." She nods; I can tell she hates this.

"And how are you doing today Hazel?" The leader guy asks.

"Okay I guess…" she says shyly.

"We're here for you Hazel." the group chants dully.

"What about you Gus?" the guy askes.

"Okay." I stand

"I'm Augustus Waters, I'm 17 years old and I had a touch of osteosarcoma last year so I cut this baby off as a result." I pull up part of my jean leg revealing my prosthetic leg.

"So now I'm part cyborg, which is awesome." I say pushing the trouser leg down again.

"Would you like to share your fears with the group?" he asks.

"Oblivion." I say without a moment's pause I look right over at Hazel who has raised her eyebrows.

"You see I intend to live an extraordinary life, to be remembered so if I have any fears I would it would be to not do that." I say sitting down in my tiny chair.

"Would anyone like to speak to that?" the guy asks.

Hazel slowly puts her hand up hesitantly.

"Hazel!" the guy sounds surprised; it sounds like Hazel doesn't speak out often.

She stands, coughs, and begins.

"There will come a time when all of us are dead and there will be no one left to remember Cleopatra or Aristotle or Mozart let alone you, so if oblivion scares you then I suggest you ignore it god knows it's what everyone else does." She sits down.

I hardly heard a thing, she looks so focused and determined she is so beautiful.

So I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"God damn, aren't you something else." I smile so big it must look like a grimace.

Neither I nor Hazel said another word for the rest of the crappy support group.

At the end the guy read a prayer about the dead people that used to come to the group. And then we said some kind of mantra and then it ended. I stood up and walked over to the exit after Isaac.

"That was worse than you made it out to be." I said trying to limp a bit faster to catch up with him because his girlfriend Monica was picking him up.

"I told you it was bleak, oh I see Mon, counterinsergence tomorrow?" he said, breaking into a smile when he saw Monica.

"Sure." I say drifting of a bit because I could see Hazel standing on the curb.

Isaac jogged toward Monica. And I walked towards Hazel.

This is my chance, I thought.

"What's your name?" I ask trying to sound confidant.

"Hazel." she smiles turning toward me.

"What's your full name?" I ask

"Hazel Grace Lancaster." She laughs

"What?" I ask

"Why are staring at me like that?" I realised I was staring at her.

I tell the truth.

"Because your beautiful!"


	4. Chapter 4

"I am not beautiful!" she scoffs. I silently laugh because she's being ridiculous.

I seize my chance.

"Let's go watch a movie." I say, my heart thumping in my chest.

"I'm free later this week we could..." she begins

"No I mean now." I say cutting her off.

"You could be an axe murderer!" she laughs

"There's always that possibility! Come on Hazel Grace take a risk!" I laugh.

I don't know why I called her Hazel Grace, it just came out naturally and I decide to make it my official nickname for her.

I pull out my pack of cigarettes and pop one in my mouth. I look over at Hazel Grace only to see a look of disgust on her face.

"What do you think that that's cool, that is disgusting! There's always a hamartia isn't there, and you're is even though you had freaking cancer your willing to give money to a corporation for the chance to acquire even more cancer! Let me just tell you that not being able to breath sucks! It totally sucks!" she seems pissed off.

For about half the time I had no idea what she was on about, but when she mentions the breathing thing, I realise she's going on about my cigarette.

So I elaborate.

"Hazel Grace they don't hurt you unless you light them." I explain. Hazel Grace looks confused.

"I've never lit one, it's a metaphor see, you put the thing that does the killing right between your teeth, but you never give it the power to kill you. A metaphor." I say.

She smiles. A car pulls up on the curb in front of us and the woman inside, presumably Hazel Graces' mom, rolled down the window.

"Hey sweetie is it top model time?" she asks and I look over at Hazel Grace hoping and praying.

"Erm, no I've made plans with Augustus Waters." She smiles, my heart skipped a beat when she said my name.

I drive to my house, I'm a terrible driver, I don't even know how I got my licence.

Neither of us spoke for about five minutes so I broke the awkward silence.

"I failed my test a couple of times." I say.

"You don't say!" she laughs, she has a beautiful laugh.

"So the 4th time I go in for a test it was going about how this is going and by the end the instructor looks over at me and says, you're driving while unpleasant is not technically unsafe."

She laughs, "Cancer perk!"

"Totally cancer perk." I say.

"So what about you?" I ask because I want to know what has made her so sick that she needs breathing support, so I can be as careful as possible when driving.

So she tells me they found it when she was 13.

_She's been suffering like this for 3 years!_

And she is stage four which means the doctors can't do much to help her. Then when Hazel Grace was 14 her lungs started filling up with water so she couldn't breath but then they started her on an experimental drug called phlanxiphor. So her lungs still suck at being lungs but they should be able to keep sucking like they are for a while.

"So are you back in school?" I ask

"No my parents withdrew me 3 years ago, so now I have my GED and I'm taking classes at MCC." She says

"Wow a college girl that explains the aura of sophistication!" I say.

Then I crash into the bins outside my house.


	5. Chapter 5

I ended up having to wait while she chatted to my parents, although I perked up a bit when she said she was staying for dinner.

We walked down the stairs to my room, but when I got to the bottom I realised she wasn't even halfway down yet. I waited until she got to the bottom of the stairs until I said:

"This is it, this is my room."

She was panting.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" she gasps.

"Yeah, sure make yourself at home." I say worried.

She sits on my sofa, leaning forward to get air.

She tells me she likes this book called _An Imperial Affliction, _I've never heard of it, but she likes it so I decided that if I was going to get to know her more it seems like I was going to have to read it.

I give her my favourite book,_ The Price of Dawn; _it's based on my favourite video game _Counterinsergence_. Isaac comes round nearly every day to play it with me.

Our hands get muddled as I give it to her and that's when I realise how cold she is.

"Your hand is so cold!" I exclaim

"Not so much cold as under oxygenated!" she laughs

She has a beautiful laugh, clear and light and her eyes light up, all bright and alive.

She stays for a while, we eat dinner (enchiladas) we chat and the more I get to know her the more I like her. And by 9:30 I know nearly everything about her, she's a vegetarian, she likes reading poetry but not writing it, she loves Americas Next Top Model and Top Chef, and she will read anything from soppy romance to murder mysteries.

Then my heart sinks because she has to leave. I drive and play her a few songs by my favourite band The Hectic Glow.

When we get to her house the air gets thicker, I get the sudden urge to lean in and kiss her, but then she probably already thought I'm a weirdo who brought her to my house to feel her up.

I say goodbye and she leaves, she knew I wrote my number on the inside of the book. As I drive home I wonder if she'll call, I promised I'd read AIA but even if I do she might not call me, might not want to see me again. My palms get sweaty and I start to think,

_She might not like me_

_Yeah but she might_

_She hardly knows you_

_She did promise to call_

_Haha like she would care_

I almost knock over three old ladies and a cat when I turn into my street.

I go to bed and fall asleep watching TV.


End file.
